If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I need moral support for this bender
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
