A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
