whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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