so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
