I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
that is very illegal...i love you.
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