Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
