I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Help. Why am I so naked?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
