I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
