I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
