I cannot find my penis.
I think my vagina is haunted
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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