EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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