Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
