This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Randomize
