all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
