You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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