well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
