Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
