Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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