he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
