if you like me you must not know who I am
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So vagazzling was a success
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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