i need an iv and a liver transplant
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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