Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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