There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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