Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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