How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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