No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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