If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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