forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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