i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
