Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
