I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
