I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Who died my cat blue again?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
