he wants to bone in the snuggie
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
