I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
