Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
