oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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