just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
