My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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