i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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