I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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