is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
