think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
