so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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