Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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