i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
