That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
