No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
