it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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