Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
