i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
