real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
