Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
her facebook's as public as her vagina
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
