while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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