Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
