I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize