We're facebook friends in real life
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
