Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize