I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
