Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
there's paper in my vomit.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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