life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
