you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
